Growing up

Wanted to share the making of pancakes with him, so even I know he may be reluctant, I tot I asked, maybe facing with answers or sighs that I do not wanna hear. Still I asked, even though my friends don't bother to ask anymore, cos he simply doesn't care to join me, to not "force" himself for such.

Indeed, life is defined by our own choices, why shld we go to somewhere that we don't feel comfortable in. But don't forget, this is part of growing up. We were train by being "force" to grow, to learn - studying is one of the best example. Many children hated studying, but somehow we were forced to go to school. Who likes to do housechores or clean the toilet, probably no one. But we do it, we learn how difficult and tedious it is. We learn to appreciate what our mothers, our cleaners or even our maid to do that. In the process of appreciating, it means we had grow up a little more.

However, that was the younger times, where we had our teachers, our mothers to force us. Or even friends who forces us by competing us, in a friendly way or not. Now that we are adults, who does that to us? No one. Even mothers can only nag, but they weren't able to force us into doing things. 

So how do we grow? Do we stop there? No, it shouldn't be. We wanna grow into a better person, we force ourselves into some things. Maybe you hated studying still, u force urself to be attentive in classes. Maybe I hated my boss, but I forced myself to find the good in her and learn what she does to bring herself to that position. There must be something that another person is doing right, and only through "force" or a better wording of "self-motivation", we find the answers ourselves. No others is going to do that for us. 

As society grows, more and more educated ppl, more and more entertainment, more and more self-centred ppl, no one has the time to speak up for you, to force you into doing the good, to pacify you to do the favour for yourself. 

When one don't do that "self-motivation" thingy, the ppl around gets "demotivated" too. Or in my case, irritated, disappointed and thinking if this will work for long. 

Some tells me to give him time, to not pressurized him too much. I tried and will continue. Because only with such, then am I a better person too, a better woman, a better wife and a better gf. I have always strongly believe that being a woman in a relationship should be smart and flexible, which has been done by women of eons. Though somedays like now, such in me screwed up. Never wanting to give in and wanted my point to be heard, even knowing it hurts. Such are stupid women, and I became one. I have my breaks too, u know?

To be fair to me, do something for me. I wanna talk it out, even if u still don't feel comfortable to do so. But that should be the way, and it's called "communication".

Back to back, I still love you for when you care. 
Let's grow old together, let's grow up together.