All tt I've wanted...

It's been a while since I've posted.

I'm here once again to complain, as well as show my blessings.

Recently dad was diagnosed w mild stroke, managing his expectations vs our patience (esp mom's) was easier said than done. We usually know how to say nurses job are tiring, the actual job doing it physically, listening to it every 24 hours a day, it's way more tiring than expected. The anger management course wld be so applicable in such.  And imagine we, kids, accompany him like half a day, we wanna throw bomb at him already. His constant nagging, wanting food tt he wants, his constant movements tt he is not supposed to do, and trying to stop him is an mission impossible task tt we still strive to do it everytime. Before his falls, we may have our blood boiled. Sounds funny? But it's so real. Mom's not getting any younger, her blood pressure wld be rising at the rate tt she needs to take care of 2 kids and now one more big kid.

Not only is the everyday living,  managing expectations,  delivering healthy food tt is difficult to maintain, money is also one tt is constantly on the mind. Mom's medical bills have been borne by us kids since last yr, and I'm feeling the pain where I need to save but it's so difficult. I finally tried to clear many stuffs, trying to get used back to the times when I rarely spend at restaurants and buying clothes like how I did in college, and tot this June, I'm gonna so saved up all my bonuses and bits of my salary. But woolah~ dad's thingy came at this time, and I remembered I had this long overdue graduate family photoshoot tt we wanna do after my sis-in-law graduates. And now? I feel like I'm not gonna save enough again.  I wanna save for my future like insurances or investments, but I also wanna save for my marriage and hse. But this is bad, it's been so difficult where there's loan to serve, medical bills to pay and own self maintainace like lingerie and clothes and shoes and bags. And hello, I am seriously not spending a ton on the external, even make up and skin care spending is to a minimal. Like I told hao, he cannot blame and don't want me when we get old if I look ugly. I'm saving the skin care products money for many others means... but but but money doesn't seem to have enough to finance all these. Edu loan and medical bills forms the bulk and yet it's inevitable to cut down on. I wanna save!!!

Savings then again, I wanna save a part of it to travel. I think I've been cooped up in this little red dot for a little long, 27 yrs old, 27 years. I wanna go out the world to see and experience a little more. How can I do it? How can I save to do it? I've been making so many plans...or rather so many "I want" list. Too ambitious, yet too sensible.

All the bad bad thingy on mind. I need a break. Need some positivity.

I'll go holidays! Wanna go! Will go! I'll do it!

I wanna save, will save, will do it!

I wanna take the grad pic, do my parents proud, take a happy family portrait!

I wanna stay happy, stay blessed with hao hao and tt he will dote on me as much as like now and better.

I want a cohesive family environment where we grow together, get healthy all together. And not forgetting sliming together!

Oh shit! Another round of dieting and maybe addition of flushing out all the bad bad things in my body should come soon~
Slim slim body, hippy 20s, wear the clothes tt I've always wanted to!

Slimming. 
Faith.
Pray.