goodwill sucks SOMETIMES!

it kinds of feels sucky when ppl keep telling you stuffs that are so obvious, even though it was meant as  goodwill(a willing effort).


not trying to be offending to anyone, i do these dumb stuffs anyway!  all humans do it once in a while, though some do it more oftenly. All in all, it's all meant as CARES but it doesn't deny the person who listens to these nonsense not feeling sucky.


examples:
1.
walking to your friends with your new hairstyles and you friend say "oo.. you cut your hair izzit?"
in normal circumstances, all u reply is "ya" and smile.


I don't know if it happens to you too, but what i really like to reply them is "no lah, i didn't. My hair dropped by itself." I mean isn't it obvious! ppl could comment stuffs more appropriate like "hey it's nice, your new haircut!" right? Dumb or what?!
Ok lah, i do know it's just a comment, a conversation warmer, but still.... 


2. 
you're saying your probs to ppl and all they say is "jia you". and while some of them continues to speak out of care and concern, listening to their tone and the words they choose to use... it becomes a pity-ing talk, or some sympathy thingy, which I don't think any troubled ppl will want that.


What a person wants during a "listening out" conversation is some empathy. And only then followed by  hopefully some feasible solutions.
By this i meant:
~ not listening out FULLY and assuming stuffs, it's not the right way to go
~ showing EMPATHY instead of sympathy will then be the correct way
~ trying to ENCOURAGE in a provoking manner, doesn't work for some ppl
~  giving solutions without REALLY FEELING the pain with that person is so super wrong, all ideas usually would be rejected thoroughly no matter how great they r, becos' no one wants to hear them out since the speaker is just trying to "help" in a way that he/she "accidentally" is flaunting all they can.
~ saying OBVIOUS "half" SOLUTIONS is definately the stupidest thing of all, but everyone is always saying it. meaning to say, most ppl's comments back to you would be solutions that you actually know. I called it half becos' if that solution has been working, then there won't be problems already since the person already knows it. So it's kind of obvious that either
a) they tried it, or
b) they actually have tot about it and think it's not applicable in reality as many other factors affects the situation too, or
c) in fact they don't need any solutions since there's not much of a solution - what they want is for you to FEEL them, and THIS, is the least ppl usually do.


I'm a very calculative person TOWARDS MYSELF, in terms of studying(esp.), life and comments.
I'm harsh to myself and that's why I grow.
Saying these harsh stuffs, sometimes it meant nothing much to me already becos' it's almost my vocabulary, but it hurts others(esp. Ting, Hao, my family and the recent incident with Zi Yang) lots, and hereby, I apologised for this.


Still, I dislikes ppl who both speaks it so mild which is almost equivalent to not saying it and those who keeps putting on a facade in their words that I no longer can feel them, cos' they closed themselves up.
On the other hand, I know the world like ppl who speaks with milder tone, and hence I'm learning to. =)