Easier said than done~ "MYOB".
Feeling so heartbroken when i meant it as a discussion/suggestion but ppl just doesn't take to it. Instead it backfired - ppl thinking tt u're just trying to be noble or self righteousness which is not the case.
My character has always been like this since young - feeling tt it is better to do the right thing than doing the wrong as perceived, walking the secured path, though i agree it may not always be the right way. However when shared on gd terms, ppl will think - 'yeah, u're right", but when ppl r on defensive mode already, it becomes "fuck off, don't try to manipulate my life". Sometimes wonder y is it so different in reactions since i remained as what i am, but being viewed so differently when they r in different stages/mood. And naturally it will lead me thinking, why am I the one being scolded when I was the one remained constant while others r the variables in this sense, shldn't it be the other way round? As experiments in sch also taught us tt we measure the results linking to the variables, not constant.
Well, i wonder if anyone even understands what I meant here as the words may not reflect well of what I think.
Always being suck into the probs easily of others and don't mind with it, in fact. But unknowingly backfired. There must be smth I gotta work on getting myself out of this, esp. with volatile variables. Kept telling myself once and again tt I gotta Mind My Own Business but it's kind of difficult to really cut the line(not knowing when they want or don't want ur tots) when it is ur family, ur boyfriend, ur close friends. Afterall, the further the r/s, I won't get caught in it cos' i don't give a damn, but it's the close ones tt r difficult to "severed ties" as it's just plain difficult esp with my character since young as so.
They say old habits die hard, some say habits r changeable if u try hard enough. I wanna do so to change in this aspect, need to stop caring bout others(not tt I'm a saint or smth, but I have always been termed as 'kpo', so gotta stop it before the care turns to disaster like this one). Sure tt it can be heal but I guess the wound will be there always, esp in others when I can't control others' feelings. Damn, it's so disturbing becos u care. How I wish I'm like the vamps in Vampire Diaires, which r said tt u can turn off the mode for having the human touch.
Okkk, disclaimer first, this post quite chim! There are a lot of "BETWEEN THE LINES" haha! but i think they are thoughts all wacked from your heart.
ReplyDeleteForemost, I think many situations work the same - If you become too giving, the other party (be it ur partner, parents, bff, colleagues, etc) would not have a chance to give back to you. Resist your urge to sink into another world, no matter how tempting it may be.
Changes overtime are not obvious when they happen on ourselves. It is always easier to judge that people have changed rather than to judge upon ourselves. Through daily experiences and insights, through the receptivity of our 5 senses, we are constantly changing. To remain constant is doom. You are not constant. Perhaps, you are consistent in your principals and values, which again, vary among individuals due to differential exposure, experiences, family upbringing and innate personality.
Too much of a good thing may not necessary be good. That maybe why it backfires.
We all weigh and view situations differently. One man's meat maybe another man's poison. In my opinion, it is extremely laborious to "sell" our mindset to others, especially so like as your have brought up "on defensive mode".
If you care and have already make your know to the other party that you do but they just don't get it, move on... Life is too short. For such nonsense. You maybe better off watching the daunting FX 'candles' movement...
xoxoxo :)
Indeed. Gotta learn to resist the urge to sink in. Afterall like u said, it is very much labourious n yeap, guess the biggest prob lies with the timing of all. Someone advices me to move on too at tt pt of time but I didn't as i wanted to explain further. And well, the results speaks for itself. Will bear in mind and hopefully be able to apply in future. In the meanwhile, I'll go focus on my investment learnings, the dramas n the job finding. :)
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